


Will you love me when my phone turns off?

by dannybsdadbod



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Louis ends up happy I promise, M/M, Sad, Sad Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-06 00:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16821823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannybsdadbod/pseuds/dannybsdadbod
Summary: Louis thinks that there’s a part of him that knew this was going to happen. That the reaction wasn’t going to be great. That people would find everything they could wrong with it. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to show Nick. Or why he told Nick not to stay home with him today for this incredibly momentous occasion. Maybe that’s why he didn’t schedule any interviews or listening parties today.In hindsight, Louis totally knew. Doesn’t make it hurt less, though.OR: Louis is sad and Nick takes care of him





	Will you love me when my phone turns off?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serenityandtea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenityandtea/gifts).



> Hi! I really really hope you like this! I was so inspired by your prompts and hope I did Nick and Louis justice for you! 
> 
> WARNING: Louis mentions his mom at one point and is sad about it!

The thing that sucks is that Louis is incredibly proud of this album. He’s put so much of himself into every single part of it. He’s been a part of the writing, the production, the mixing. Louis has made sure he’s been there and had something to do with every aspect that he could. He has so much pride in this album, he was so excited for people to hear it…

It shouldn’t surprise Louis, though. He’s used to this. He was used to people thinking he’s the weak link in One Direction, why would it be any different now? So many people have said he couldn’t make it with a solo career, even though the rest of the boys had no problems doing so.

Maybe he should’ve listened.

He’s turned his notifications off completely. Not just “Do not disturb”. Turning notifications off. Now he doesn’t have to look at any of his messages, emails, tweets, anything. There’s no temptation or anything.

Louis can ignore all of the pity texts from his family and the boys about how “great the new album is”. He can’t deal with reading those right now. They’re gonna hurt just as much as the tweets have been, if not more.

He knows he should’ve messaged Nick or something. He knows that. But he told Nick to leave this morning, to go to work. That he would be fine, no matter how the album is received.

Nick fought him on it. But Louis can be difficult. Louis would’ve ended up taking it out on Nick or would’ve pushed Nick away, both of which is something Louis’ been working on. He didn’t want their progress to be diminished just because he’s unstable and a shit singer.

God he doesn’t even want to know what Nick thinks of the album. He can’t bear to know. Nick critiques things on the radio for a living. Louis can tell when Nick’s lying about liking something or holding thoughts back. He doesn’t want to hear Nick’s opinion. He doesn’t want to hear his fake-nice, lying voice.

And if Nick’s colleagues think it’s just as shit as everyone else does, what is Nick going to do? Louis has put him in this position and it’s not fair.

Maybe Nick and his colleagues will get a good laugh out of it in the studio.

Louis lays his head back down onto the pillow and curls his knees more into his chest. He just wishes he’d disappear. That the album had never been released.

The reason Louis starts to reply on twitter to some of the hate is that he loves his team and treasures them and all of the work they’ve done on this album. As shit as it may be, it isn’t shit because of them. That parts all Louis. So for people to be bashing it based on the fact they just hate Louis or whatever is just. Stupid.

He feels like he has swords stuck into his sides, like every time he breathes, they sink in deeper. His hands holding his phone are shaking, the screen is blurry, and his thumbs can’t find the right keys any longer. So he scrolls for a bit in his indirects.

**@forever1D:**

_New louis tomlinson album is shit. Proves he’s nothing without the band_

**@hazza__lover:**

_we all knew louis wasnt gonna be able to stand alone as an artist. he isn’t harry. he doesn’t have the abilities to be a breakout artist._

When he starts seeing twitter handles that have something to do with him, his bandmates, or One Direction, that’s when it really hits him.

Louis realizes that maybe it isn’t just a him thing. Maybe this album does suck. Maybe he sucks. Maybe he shouldn’t try anymore. Maybe him following his dream of being a musician was too ambitious and should’ve been left in the wind.

Louis throws himself a pity party. He lets himself cry, lets himself be angry, lets himself just feel everything. He tires himself out. He curls up on the sofa and drifts in and out of sleep for a few hours.

\--

Louis replies to some of the twitter trolls. He knows he shouldn’t give them the time of day, but he can’t help it.

He tries to think of the wittiest, snarkiest comebacks he can.

He thinks most of them fall short of that, he thinks they may come across more as Louis being a sad asshole.

He says things like:

thanks for giving it a listen, xx

not all of us can be Harry, hey? aha

He hopes Harry isn’t mad about that last one.

\--

Louis hadn’t wanted to listen to the album full through with Nick there. He was nervous. As much as Nick loves him, and as much as Louis loves Nick, he couldn’t handle if Nick’s face altered even a little.

Nick’s one of the people’s opinions and thoughts on this album matter the most to him. The idea of Nick not liking the album is soul crushing to think about, let alone experience. So he told him not to stay home with him for the album drop. To listen to it whenever he got the chance as if it were really as flippant as Louis was trying to make it seem.

Louis thinks that there’s a part of him that knew this was going to happen. That the reaction wasn’t going to be great. That people would find everything they could wrong with it. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to show Nick. Or why he told Nick not to stay home with him today for this incredibly momentous occasion. Maybe that’s why he didn’t schedule any interviews or listening parties today.

In hindsight, Louis totally knew. Doesn’t make it hurt less, though.

\--

Louis doesn’t hear Nick get home. He’s wrapped in blankets on the couch laying on his side. Some infomercial is on the TV screen that’s turned down really low. All of his hair is flopped to one side, there are tear streaks down his cheeks. There’s a small wet spot near Louis’ head where they’ve dripped off as he’s been lying horizontally.

“Lou?” Nick lays a gentle hand on Louis’ calf, but he still jumps.

“Shh, it’s just me. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Louis barely moves but looks at Nick. His eyes are puffy and red, his nose is red, he looks so broken it hurts Nick’s heart.

“Oh. love,” Nick sits on the edge of the sofa, stroking Louis’ hair.

“I’m fine,” Louis mumbles but tears up as soon as he starts to talk. “I just… I put so much work into this album. There is so much of me in it. I let myself be so vulnerable…”

“I know. And I am so so proud of you,” Nick tucks a piece of hair behind Louis’ ear.

Louis shakes his head. “You shouldn’t be. I should’ve known better than to try and pursue a solo career. What was I thinking! The album is absolute rubbish. I’m not good enough on my own.”

“Louis.” Nick’s voice gets serious. “Don’t. Don’t do that. You are so great, so talented. You’re beyond good enough to be pursuing a solo career.”

“Most people don’t think so.”

“Most people are twats, babe.”

Louis chuckles, “I guess.”

“Well, I know. And I also know that my boyfriend's new album is incredible. So many bops. Your lyrics are so good, Lou. I can’t tell you how many times I teared up because of how proud I was of you or how touched I was by your lyrics.”

Louis’ face softens, “You really liked it?”

Nick kisses his forehead, “Lou, I loved it. It was so incredible.”

The thing is, Nick’s voice is genuine. It’s soft and real and Louis can tell he means it.

Louis sits up, wraps his arms around Nick, and cries into him.

“Oh love,” Nick hugs him, holding him protectively. He wishes he could protect him from the terrible people talking shit behind a screen. He wishes he could show him just how lovely and talented he is.

Louis sniffles, pulls back. “You liked it,” he says with a small smile.

“Of course I did,” Nick smiles at him, wiping at a tear.

“No like. You genuinely liked it.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Louis smiles small and kisses Nick. “Thank you.”

“I’m so proud of you, you know that? So proud. You have gone through so much, have dealt with so much, and you always come out on top. And now you’ve created this amazing solo album. I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud to call you my boyfriend.”

Louis’ chest feels warm and he’s suddenly too overwhelmed with emotions.

“Hey,” Nick cups his face. “What is it?”

He shrugs. “It’s a lot. Everything is… a lot.”

“I know,” Nick kisses his head gently. “How about I get you into bed, we can spend the rest of the day cuddling. We can watch whatever movie you’d like, and we can just ignore our phones for a bit. I’ll order take away, from that thai place you like?”

Louis smiles small, “Yeah I’d… I’d really like that.”

Nick gets Louis upstairs and wraps their soft, navy blanket around Louis’ shoulders. He leans in and kisses him softly.

“Now into bed, c’mon,” Nick leads him and helps him get all comfy, arranging the pillows how he wants.

“Do you want me to make you a cuppa?”

Louis shakes his head, “I don’t wanna be alone right now if that’s okay?”

“Course it’s okay, babe.”

Nick climbs into bed, wrapping an arm around Louis and pulling him into his chest. Louis goes easily, letting his head rest on Nick’s chest. Louis does his best to match his breathing with Nicks. He didn’t even realize his breathing was off, to begin with until he could feel Nick’s steady heartbeat under him.

“There you go,” Nick mumbles into Louis' hair.

Nick turns on the TV. Some show Louis doesn’t really register, he doesn’t really care. He just has Nick and that’s enough for right now. He lets Nick overflow his senses.

“Do you wanna order takeaway soon? I’m getting a bit hungry,” Nick rubs Louis’ back as he speaks.

Louis nods, mumbling only half conscious, “Mmmkay.”

Nick chuckles, “We can wait a bit.”

Louis doesn’t respond, having already drifted off to sleep.

\--

Louis wakes up from a nightmare, not sure what time it is nor where he is. All he knows is he’s crying and shaking and wants this feeling to go away immediately.

“Nick?” He calls, voice groggy and barely there.

Nick grabs his hand, “Hey, hey, I’m right here. What’s going on?”

Louis swallows, “I–bad dream.”

Nick pulls Louis close, hugging him and rubbing his back.

“It was just a dream, love. Just a dream. You’re okay.”

Louis shakes his head, but can’t find words yet.

“I know, I know,” Nick mutters, kissing his head. “But I’ve got you.”

After a few minutes, Louis is able to calm down. He doesn’t pull out of Nick’s arms, but he finally has found it in him to speak.

“You left me.”

“Hmm? I’ve been right here, love.”

“No,” Louis sighs, frustrated. “In my dream. You left me. Cause of the album. Cause everyone hated it and you hated it and you hated being associated with me, even if no one knew.”

Nick clicks his tongue, “Lou…”

“I know,” Louis sighs. “I know what you’re gonna say. You wouldn’t do that. I know you wouldn’t do that, that’s the thing. But it all felt so real and I. Don’t know. It was scary. And I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, love,” Nick takes Louis’ hand and intertwines their fingers. “Never.”

They stay like that for a bit, Nick just rubbing Louis’ back and holding him.

“I love you,” Nick says, to break the silence. Just reminding Louis.

“I love you too,” Louis mumbles, but he has the faintest smile.

Nick knows he’ll be okay. It just may take time.

\--

The next time Louis falls asleep, Nick goes on his phone and starts searching through comments on twitter and youtube. He takes screenshots of all of the nice comments he can find from fans of Louis’. All of the positive reactions to Louis’ album.

Louis may not be able to handle it now, but he will at some point. And Nick will have them all ready to go to show Louis that he has so much to be proud of. That there are so many people who support him.

\--

Louis looks at his phone again that night. It was a mistake. He sees one tweet that mentions his mum and he breaks.

The thing is, it isn’t even a mean tweet.

The tweet says that his mum would be so proud of him.

That’s what hurts the most.

His mum isn’t ever going to hear his album. And that breaks his heart.

A lot of this album she influenced, even if she wasn’t around for it. Some of the lyrics he wrote while she was still with him.

It’s too much.

It’s all too much.

He wants to hide away and never come out.

\--

Nick draws a bath for the two of them on Friday night. He uses the lavender bath bomb that they have and makes the water just warm enough.

Louis is sitting in bed, drinking tea under some blankets.

Nick gets him, grabbing him by the hand and leading him to the bathroom.

“I’m bringing my tea,” Louis says stubbornly.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, babe,” Nick smirks.

Nick takes the cup from Louis’ hands and sets it next to the bath. He takes his time undressing Louis, rubbing over his skin as he exposes it. Louis lets his eyes drift close, just enjoying it.

“Okay, let’s get you into the bath, hey?”

Louis smiles and kisses Nick gently. He isn’t sure how to tell him, but he’s so incredibly appreciative of Nick.

Nick gets in the bath first, so that when Louis gets in, he can fit himself in the V of Nick’s legs.

“It’s a good thing we’re rich,” Louis mumbles, laying his head against Nick’s shoulder.

“Hm? Why’s that?”

“Cause otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to afford a bath to fit your freakishly tall ass.”

Nick rolls his eyes, but smiles. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Louis drifts off in Nicks arms in the bath. It’s all so warm and comforting, he can’t help but be at peace.

He almost forgets all the shit happening with the album.

\--

Nick spends the next few days just taking care of Louis. Louis keeps going in and out from these major depressed moods, to being fine. He never knows when it’s going to change.

And his sleep schedule is so off. He cries himself to sleep sometimes, just exhausting himself completely.

It’s breaking Nick’s heart.

He retweets a couple of really sweet tweets he finds, hoping the fans won’t make anything of it and won’t assume anything about Louis. They’re mates, that’s all.

He really just wants the world to appreciate Louis as he deserves. Appreciate this album that Louis put literal blood, sweat, and tears into.

He wants Louis to see this and appreciate himself.

Nick would do anything to make Louis see himself as he sees him.

\--

Louis has been sleeping on and off the entire weekend. He’s cried himself to sleep a bunch, but can never stay asleep for long.

He feels bad, he keeps waking Nick up whenever he wakes up.

This time, Louis tries to slip out of bed without Nick noticing. It has to be the middle of the night, Nick needs to sleep.

Louis goes to the kitchen and starts to boil some water. Before the kettle’s even finished, Nick joins him.

“Hey love,” Nick’s voice is groggy and his hair is sticking up all over the place.

“Hi,” Louis tries to smile.

“You woke up.”

Louis shrugs.

“Making some tea?”

“Do you want some?”

Nick shakes his head and kisses Louis forehead. “I’m okay. Thank you, though, love.”

They stay like that for a bit. Louis thinks Nick’s almost walking on eggshells around him since the album came out. He knows Nick’s trying to be nice, trying to make sure Louis is okay, but it kind of sucks not having his usual Nick with him.

Louis isn’t as fragile as he seems.

He knows he isn’t making a good case for himself, seeing as he’s been a wreck all weekend, but for the most part, he’s okay. He’s a lot better at dealing with things than he used to be.

“What happened?”

Louis shrugs, “I dunno. Just, couldn’t fall back to sleep.”

“Maybe it’s all the napping.”

“Or all the sadness,” Louis attempts to joke, but it falls flat and Nick looks at him funny.

“I know, love,” Nick mumbles. “And that’s okay.”

“Is it? Okay, I mean. Is it okay with you? You’ve been acting strange.”

“I’m just worried,” Nick’s voice is soft and so genuine it hurts. Because Louis is feeling shitty and wants to be shitty, but he knows he shouldn’t be. Especially not at Nick, who’s so sweet and loving and caring. But Louis is mad and upset and hell, if Nick’s going to treat him like a child, he’ll act like one.

“I-I’m okay.”

“I know.”

“I am.”

“Lou–”

“I’m not some fragile kid,” Louis honest to god crosses his arms.

Nick sighs. “I never said that.”

“You’re treating me like I am.”

“I’m not treating you like anything. I’m a worried boyfriend because my talented boyfriend created a masterpiece of an album and can’t see that. It hurts, Lou. You’re _so_ talented, and _so_ deserving of all of the praise that’s come out about the album. And I know you can’t help but see the negative, this album is like your baby. But I want you to be able to see it how I see it.”

Louis feels like all of the air has been punched out of him, he doesn’t know what to say.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to answer right away because the kettle goes off, startling them both.

Louis goes over and turns it off, stalling, trying to figure out how to apologize to Nick and stop being an asshole.

“I didn’t realize… I just… I’m an asshole,” Louis sighs.

Nick pulls Louis into him by his waist, “You’re not an asshole.”

“I am. You’ve been taking care of me and being so sweet, and I’m over here acting like a child throwing a tantrum because my album had some negative comments.”

“Your reaction is totally valid,” Nick says, softly. “And you’re not acting like a child. Or an asshole. It’s okay. This album has been a lot, the whole process has been a lot. I know you just need to process it on your own time.”

Louis sighs, letting his shoulders sag and really leaning into Nick. “It’s been a lot.”

“I know, love,” Nick kisses the top of Louis’ head.

“I appreciate you,” Louis says softly.

“I know,” Nick smiles. “I know you do.”

“You know even when I’m a jerk?”

“Even then.”

Louis smiles into Nick’s chest, “Good.”

Louis makes his cup of tea in his favorite cup, one that’s red and has little stars on it. He has no idea where it came from, but he loves it.

Louis takes Nick’s hand and lets Nick walk them back to the bedroom. Louis doesn’t even get three sips of his tea in before he’s fallen back to sleep against Nick’s chest.

\--

Louis gets on his phone when Nick goes out to get them food.

He hasn’t been on his phone since Friday when he dropped the album, sans texting his sisters. Nick hasn’t really let him, nor has Louis wanted to, honestly. But he thinks he’s ready now. He thinks maybe he can handle it.

He unlocks his phone and checks twitter, mostly out of curiosity.

Almost all of his mentions are positive.

About how proud they are of him, about how much they love the album, about how much it means to them. Louis could cry.

He goes to Nick’s twitter.

**@grimmers**

The new Louis Tomlinson album is an absolute bop. Been listening to little else but that since it came out. Congrates, Louis, you really deserve this

**@grimmers**

Who would’ve thunk that years ago during that twitter feud we’d be best mates now and I’d be tweeting about him, hey?

Louis is tearing up, overwhelmed. He can’t believe Nick did that, he tweeted about the album on his own. It means so much to him.

As he scrolls through Nick’s twitter, he starts crying.

Nick has retweeted a bunch of tweets from fans about how proud they are of Louis, and has tweeted at fans about specific songs and lyrics in the album.

His heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest, he’s so overwhelmed. For the exact opposite reason that he was overwhelmed a few days ago.

Harry, Niall, and Liam have all tweeted publically about how proud they are of Louis, how he “smashed it”.

He locks his phone and curls his knees to his chest, waiting for Nick to get home.

He and his team created something amazing with this album. He has every reason to be proud of himself. But hearing his fans, his boys, his _boy_ are all proud of him, so genuinely proud of him, really helps.

Louis needed that validation, he needed that.

Nick opens the door, announcing himself, as usual.

“LOUIS! I’M HOOOOME! I BRING FOOD AND GIFTS!”

Louis sits up, sniffling and wiping his face.

“Babe?” He puts his stuff down and goes to Louis. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Louis holds Nick’s hand, “I love you.”

“I love you too, babe. What’s going on?”

Louis kisses Nick, “No. I love you. I love you so much.”

“What happened?” Nick caresses Louis’ cheek.

“I was on twitter. _Your_ twitter specifically. And seeing your tweets, seeing you interacting with my fans… Nick,” He tears up again.

Nick rubs his thumb over Louis cheek, catching a tear. “Shh, take your time, babe. I’ve got you.”

“I know you do,” Louis whispers. “I know. And that means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

Nick kisses Louis again, and Louis takes his time with it. Kissing him slowly and deeply, trying to make Nick feel as warm inside as Nick makes Louis feel.

When they pull away, Nick’s smiling at Louis so big and Louis wants to hide, but also never have it stop.

“You’re so amazing, Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis smiles, “You’re not so bad yourself, Nicholas.”

Nick rolls his eyes at Louis, runs a hand through his hair.

“So… You said presents?” Louis smiles big and obnoxious and Nick can’t help but chuckle at him.

“Yeah babe, I got you some nice, warm tea. And a nice, soft blanket.”

Louis all but jumps up and runs to the entryway.

“A NEW FLUFFY BLANKET!” He takes it out and feels it, sighing with contentment.

“Yeah babe,” Nick laughs a little. “Figured you can never have too many.”

“Oh my god look at it, the little dogs have hats and scarves on!”

Nick kisses his head, “Cute, hey?”

Louis leans into Nick, “Extremely.”

“Alright, how about I serve up dinner, and we break this bad boy in on the sofa with a movie?”

“Deal,” Louis kisses Nick. Quieter, he mumbles, “Thank you.”

“Always, babe.”

“For everything,” Louis finishes.

Nick gives him a little squeeze and peck, before he shoo’s him to the couch and goes to get their dinner.

Louis has the blanket draped over his lap, and when Nick comes back with their carry out, he snuggles up under the blanket with him.

“This is nice,” Nick says, in between bites of his pasta.

“Agreed,” Louis smiles, taking a forkful of Nick’s dish.

“If you wanted pasta–”

Louis sighs, because really, how many times does he have to explain this? “If I wanted pasta, I’d of ordered it. I just want a few bites of your pasta, and also my chicken.”

“You’re a real piece of work, Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis smiles, “But you love me.”

“So unbelievably much.”

**Author's Note:**

> There it is! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Title from Conversations With My Wife by Jon Bellion


End file.
